He is such a slut. More and more my type.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Houston, we have a squirter
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
