yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Randomize
