If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
