if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
He did a backflip because drugs
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