This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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