used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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