i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
