I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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