When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
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