Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
