i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
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