His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
