ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
We need to get me chipped asap
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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