yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
