yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
