i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Randomize
