i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
