do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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