Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I was not drunk enough for that final.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
