And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
