on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
You made out with two different species that night
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
