ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
