singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
