Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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