She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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