ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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