So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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