I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
