Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
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