If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
