dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
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