This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
