PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
