And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
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