I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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