ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
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