i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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