i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Randomize