I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
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