No more Irish car bombs ever.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Randomize
