I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
i can't believe i had my finger in that
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
