i don't like sucking hair
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
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