Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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