C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Randomize
