well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
