If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
