He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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