you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
