You don't have asthma, your pregnant
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
