He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
