I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
