Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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