She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Randomize
